I'm not Catholic, but sometimes I think it would be convenient to have someone to spill the beans to. A good confession could go a long way in clearing my conscience of a few things.
Today that thing is this: I haven't written a word toward my work in progress for a week. Actually, I haven't written a word on anything that's mine since last Sunday. Maybe Saturday. I can't remember.
I'm stuck. I'm maybe 10,000 words from the end of my story and I'm not sure how to end it. As the plot came hurtling toward the climax I noticed that the character relationships aren't as deep as they should be. I also caught the fact that maybe I've gone too big in this first book. Maybe I should keep the whole thing closer to home and not go all crazy with the part before the last part.
The thing that's killing me about it all is that the last 10,000 words I wrote came so easy. They flew from my fingers and onto the page with an ease that I haven't enjoyed in a few months. Writing is usually fun for me, but this was more. It was better. I loved it!
And now I'm thinking I might have to ax that entire section. I hate that. One of life's cruel ironies—and I get to deal with it this week. Gosh, thanks world.
My mind won't even switch over to plotting mode so that I can try to fix the problems. I made a list of all of my concerns about this novel and found it to be pretty long. Not only long, but most of the changes will significantly impact the story as I have it written now.
This is only the first draft. Well, unless you count Nano a few years ago, but I don't really. This is a rough draft. And I'm all bent out of shape that the whole thing might change. I'm pathetic. Really. And petty, and in general feeling quite surly about the whole thing.
The real problem is this: I'm missing something. There is some aspect of the story that I've either over used or something that got overlooked. I've got to figure out what it is or this poor story (and I'm really liking the story and the characters) is never going to get finished.
So wish me luck as I drag out a notebook and a pen and start to write down what I think I need to do to fix it.
Anyone got a four leaf clover?