27 April 2011

Choose Wisely

Kung Fu fighting class is all about partner work. Who cares if you can kick fifty thousand times in the air—if you can't hit a target (preferably the right target on a person) then you've got nothing. And if you can't manipulate your opponent properly then you're toast.

Well, butter me up and toss me on a plate.

Last night we worked some knife techniques during class. The first two were old news. Good practice, but nothing for me to get excited about. Well, I was a little excited to be slicing and dicing the biggest guy in class . . .

And when I say the biggest guy in class, I'm not talking just tall. No, no, he's wide as well as tall, as well as glowering. He glowers down at me from at least a foot over my head, and I can easily hide behind him. My butt's pretty big, as well as a few other parts of me, so there aren't that many guys that can conceal me.

This guy can.

It wasn't until we started on our last technique that I realized I'd made a tactical error. Kind of hard to get a guy's knife away from my throat by locking up his arm when his arm is like a tree trunk. And he's glowering. I can get away, but not without slicing my own throat open. Seriously! I could probably crawl up this guy and hang on his arm, gnawing at his wrist, and he'd just laugh and flick me off like you get rid of something nasty that you've touched.

Sensei came over and gave me some pointers, including going for his face. However, I've got like 3” less on my reach than Sensei does, so I couldn't reach this guy's face. Yes, picture the kid who is trying to charge their dad. Dad simply holds them away with his hand while the poor kid swipes and swipes, never getting close. That'd be me.

My new plan? Uh, not sure. Don't let big guys get close enough to grab me? Get adamantium shield around throat? Make a nation of fun sized people so no one that big can come and play?

I'll think of something.

1 comment:

Antiquarian said...

Have you seen that "pen is mightier than the sword" commercial. Ya the ninja is taken down by another Kung fu guy with a stun gun. I'm thinking pepper spray. Otherwise...*shrug* "Get Up. Move Faster" can't remember where that's from.