15 July 2012

The Three Musketeers

The hot-headed young D'Artagnan along with three former legendary but now down on their luck Musketeers must unite and defeat a beautiful double agent and her villainous employer from seizing the French throne and engulfing Europe in war.

After seeing the air ships in the previews, I was not anxious to see this movie. A friend told me it was “terrible”, but I'm not going to lie, with the promise of Orlando Bloom and plenty of fighting, we picked it up from Redbox a few nights ago.

Why did I come to this movie again?

Men fighting, intrigue, possibly horrible dialog and plenty of explosions. I'm in.

4 out of 5


The point of these characters is that they will do anything for one another. I didn't catch that until the very end of this movie. Maybe that was the journey, but the writers didn't make that clear (I thought) at the beginning. And D'Artagnan never did figure out what kind of a cool guy he was. Frankly there was too much action and not enough character development. If I didn't already know the story, I probably wouldn't care at all about anyone in this movie.

3 out of 5

Did I care what happened?

Only because I knew the characters before we started. I admit that the tension level remained high throughout the movie, so I didn't get bored.

3 out of 5

Plot Holes

Uh...mass production of floating air ships? And they made them off a a single piece of paper that had maybe eight notes on it??? Sorry, the engineer in me scoffed aloud. And four inexperienced soldiers could fly it by themselves? Physics anyone?

Oh, and super-ninja Milady...what's up with her?

3 out of 5

How many times did I yawn?

No yawns, but about six eye-rolls.

3 out of 5

Cool Factor

Okay, the cool factor (after I overlooked the air ship issues) was pretty awesome. The fight scenes were killer (haha) and my inner ninja came away feeling very satisfied.

4 out of 5

The End

Uh...I was glad it was over.

3 out of 5

Overall Enjoyment

As the Three Musketeers...2

As a movie about three guys who are like the French special forces, out to save the realm from the evils of England (because that's what they did), it wasn't bad. I'd maybe give it a 3. But that wasn't what they advertised it as.

2 out of 5


That's a Purple Belt

1 comment:

Antiquarian said...

WHY? I do not get this steampunked rendition to good classics. I hate it. It's WRONG. I was subjected to the latest "Sherlock Holmes" film and spent the afternoon throwing up mentally.

Proof that there are no good writers left in the film industry and that if by some grace of God I ever do publish I will NEVER let my book be made into a film.