12 June 2010

Thank Goodness for the Dollar(ish) Movies

There are only a handful of movies that I've ever seen that made me think, “I'll never get those two hours of my life back.” The most prominent of these is The Avengers. That movie was like one big inside joke that I didn't catch. I didn't even see it fly by.

Tonight a friend and I went to see Clash of the Titans. Did I hear someone groaning? So you've seen it?

I have fond memories of the old one. I remember we had it recorded on VHS, and I used to take it on babysitting jobs. There was one family of boys that loved it, so I watched it quite a number of times. It's cheesy. It's awful. It's classic.

That said, I was expecting more of the same with the new movie, only with better special effects. Uh, it wasn't even close. It was beyond horrible. The special effects were good, and they are the only reason I'm okay having paid $2 for the movie tonight. (It turns out that “dollar” theaters charge more on the weekends.) Still, I was disappointed in the lack of color in the movie. It's probably artsy—I prefer to be able to designate between the giant scorpions, the rocks, the strange desert people, the sky and the main character. Maybe that's just me.

At one point my friend leaned over and pointed out that every single myth had been messed up in one way or another. I told her that it probably took the writers weeks to figure out how to do that. Then there was that guy from Avatar (who forgot to change his haircut for this film), the random woman from Prince of Persia (that girl gets around), bad dialog, even worse acting, the Kraken's naughty tentacles, the shinny metal armor of the gods . . .

Okay, I'll stop. Needless to say we spent the end credits ripping the film to tiny, tiny shreds. At least we didn't pay $8 for it. We saw a preview for the A-Team at the beginning of the movie. We're going to try that one next time.


Fabulist said...

At least you had Naughty Tentacles! Rick and I payed over $10 a piece for one of the "new" Star Wars films and all we got was bad acting.

I even said "I'll never get those 2 hours back" on the way out of the theater and the lady in front of me said "was it only 2?"

Ya, count your many blessings.

Stacey said...

Good to know, so I won't waste my money on that one. And I loved the old one! What can beat Harry Hamlin (?) in a skirt? Oh, and all the claymation creatures. It's the best!