I Never Met a Board I Didn't Like

Until now.

I noticed that Ninja wannabe hasn't got much press time over the past few weeks, so I thought I would share a story.

Long ago, back when I was a blue belt, my Sensei had these cool, plastic re-breakable boards. They supposedly simulated different thickness of the real boards that some martial artists break. If I remember right, he had a set of six or seven. The white board was the easiest and the black one was the hardest.

The very first time I went through them I didn't have any problems. I remember that I was one of the only people who got through the black one, and probably only one of two to do it on the first try. The second time we played with them, months later, I had a tiny problem with the brown one—glared and hit it again, going through with awesomeness. (Wow, sorry about the insane punctuation in that last sentence. I think I made most of that up.)

So when my now Sensei bought a set of five re-breakable boards I was excited! Yay, something I can do and not look like an idiot! (P.S. One should never think these things.) I went through the first four with no problem. Just smash the dang things with my fist. Ta-da!

Last one—green one—epic fail. I hit the stupid thing three times with my right hand and then twice with my left. Nothing. I even tried it again after class . . . still nothing. I could get the two halves to separate, but never to break. I don't feel terrible, because only like three people got through at all, and one of them is this huge guy who could probably walk through a house with just a few steps of momentum at his back.

You should have seen the bruises on my wrists. (We did hammer strikes where you, well, whack at them like your fist is a hammer.) Both sides. Green, black and yellow bruises. I should have taken a picture.

Anyway, now I've met a board I don't like. It's green, and someday, when no one else is looking, I will avenge my wrong, and break it in half!!! (with awesomeness)