The Rambling Syndrome

Yes, yes, I realize that I do in fact ramble quite a bit, but that is not what this post is about. And I may even refrain from any actual rambling, but promise nothing.

Right now I am busting out what will end up being a 90,000 word rough draft in two months.

Yes, I can write that fast. The end product should never be seen by anyone outside of me in my PJ's on a Saturday morning, but at the end of it I have a rough draft that I can then mold into the greatest story ever told!

Oh, sorry, sometimes I have delusions of grandeur. Just trying to stay positive, sheesh.

But really, this is my writing process. I wish it was otherwise. Were otherwise? I can never remember which it's supposed to be. Sorry, off topic.

I've been in denial about this process for a while. Outlines are usually my BFF's, but not for a novel. I have done a seven point plot system, the fifteen beats, planning out scenes, given my characters extensive backgrounds and even went so far as to try to create motivation for each scene before I start writing the book.

About ¼ of it ends up in the final story. Heck, only about ½ of it ends up in the rough draft.

You see, I'm easily distracted. (Shocking, I know.) I find some part of the story that I hadn't considered before and I delve into it. I can ramble on about some sub-plot that I discovered for thousands and thousands of words. Sometimes I have to stop myself and type this:

Blah, blah, blah, hook this into the main story before the kids get on the ship. Now, where was I?

Rough drafts are not only rough in the plot and prose areas, they are rough on me! I like things to be orderly and neat. A rough draft is neither of those things, nor is it always the story I want to tell. Sometimes I have to spit out the terrible rough draft, hitting on all of the dumb points of the story (kind of like the last three Star Wars films) before I figure out what the good parts really are.

I kind of hate it. But it's the only thing that works for me. So I shall be frantically typing over the next month to vomit the last 45,000 words onto my computer.

Then the real fun begins.

Paranorman

A misunderstood boy, takes on ghosts, zombies and grown-ups to save his town from a centuries-old curse.

Why did I see this movie again?

Because it looks funny! Very “B” movie in kids form, which intrigued me.

5 out of 5

Characters

As in so many kids movies, there are a plethora of characters that all follow their own trope. Which totally works for kids, and is okay for me. There was the bully turned helper, the fat kid turned best friend, the family that doesn't understand the main character, an older sister that should be smacked and zombies... Which always add some interest. :) So the characters were a bit cookie-cutter, but I still loved them all.

4 out of 5

Did I care what happened?

Yes. The first half of the film drew me in more than the last half did. I think because the first bit was about the characters, and the tail end was about breaking the curse, and the two sections didn't quite meld right. But I still cared what happened. They just lost me for a while.

4 out of 5

Plot Holes

No plot holes. Just the slow bit in the middle that got riddled with slap-stick humor for the kids. The kids in the audience thought it was hilarious, I just wanted the end of the story!

4 out of 5

How many times did I yawn?

Oops, just went over this. Just once.

3 out of 5

Cool Factor

Stop motion animation? Yes, please. I didn't see it in 3-D, but heard that it was good there. I loved all of the detail they put into the scenes and the characters. Great stuff. Good effects.

5 out of 5

The End

I thought the end was a little down played. Sure, Norman is the only one who can save the town, but I didn't feel like the set up for him doing so was as strong as it could have been. But he does it and everyone ends up happy. Well, except for his sister. You'll have to watch the movie to see why.

4 out of 5

Overall Enjoyment

Funny, witty, visually pleasing and had enough little twists to keep me totally entertained.

4 out of 5

Score= 32

That's a Brown Belt!

The other day I attended a book launch for One Boy, No Water by Lehua Parker.

I have a contract for my novel with the same publisher, Jolly Fish Press. I must admit that I had some trepidation about the whole thing. I'd only met one or two of the Jolly Fish Press team, and I'd never met any of the other authors. I didn't even know Lehua Parker and I was going to support her at her very first book launch.

But I pulled myself together, did my hair, put on some makeup and headed up to the Barnes and Noble in Layton. I have to say that it was a great experience.

First off, there were a lot of people there, which is awesome. Poor Lehua looked ecstatic and frazzled all at the same time. Although I have to admit some jealousy toward her comfortable-looking Hawaiian dress. I'm going to have to seriously consider what to wear when my book launches, because I'd be one to don a pair of cute but totally uncomfortable shoes.

I spotted some of the Jolly Fish Press team and headed over to chat with them. Within fifteen minutes I think we had six or seven of the other JFP authors there, along with the editor, his awesome wife, the sub rights girl and a few others.

It was at that moment that a couple of very stressful weeks melted away and I totally geeked out. Authors, writers, my publisher...I suddenly remembered why I worked so hard to get this far and why I'm trying to blast through yet another rough draft that I'd like to toss out the window about every other day.

Stories make people happy. They make me happy. After talking to the other authors I wanted to read everyone's books. I wanted to tell everyone great job and support them however I could.

New Sight isn't scheduled to come until next October. I'm pregnant with a book for the next 12 months.

How great is that? No morning sickness, and it won't draw on the walls.

If you're feeling down about your writing or writing career, just go hang out with a few other authors. Trust me, it will rejuvenate you!

The Bourne Legacy

The events in this movie takes place around the same time that the events in The Bourne Ultimatum. When a British reporter was writing an expose about Black Ops operations Treadstone and Black Briar, and the ones responsible for them are concerned. And when Jason Bourne, former Treadstone operative got the file on Treadstone and Black Briar and gave it to Pamela Landy who them passed it to the media. When the men behind Treadstone and Black Briar learn of this, they're concerned how this will affects other ops they have. They decide it's best to shut down all ops and make sure make everyone involved disappears. They try to take out Aaron Cross who is part of another op called Outcome, but he manages to survive. He then seeks out Dr. Marta Shearing who worked on him when he began. It seems part of the program is for all subjects to take medications but he has run out, which is why he seeks her. (Borrowed from IMDB)

Why did I see this movie again?

Because I saw so many commercials for it during the Olympics, and I think that Jeremy Renner is hot.

5 out of 5

Characters

The casting for all of these Bourne movies has been great. All of the bad guys are like slime you want to flick off the bottom of your shoe, and the good guys all have their reasons for trying to stay one step ahead of whatever is after them. Rachel Weisz was great as the doctor, and I found both her story and Aaron Cross' compelling.

4 out of 5

Did I care what happened?

Yes. I was very concerned that they were going to hurt Hawkey. Just kidding. I liked the reason they gave Aaron Cross for going after the doctor, but thought it could have been a little deeper instead of so broad. The storytellers wanted to link this in with the other Bourne movies, and I felt maybe did a little too much in that direction and not enough in keeping things personal to the characters. Still, I totally cared, I just wanted to care in a different direction.

4 out of 5

Plot Holes

I honestly didn't notice any, but they could have been there. I'm sure if I watched the first three and then this one I could pick a few places apart, but that's not why I went to see the movie.

4 out of 5

How many times did I yawn?

The beginning was a little slow, and as usual, things weren't explained very well. So that made me a bit cranky, but once the action got started it kept me pretty interested.

3 out of 5

Cool Factor

Uh, action? Chase scenes that did not go on for fifteen minutes. Good tension. I liked it.

4 out of 5

The End

The end was a bit strange. You remember all of those commercials during the Olympics? “We've never seen test results like this” or whatever. Well, that comment is not referring to our hero in this movie. And they toss in one last obstacle that I thought was kind of lame. If the goal was to kill all of the agents, then why leave this very last one around? I didn't like it—it felt like a write-out.

3 out of 5

Overall Enjoyment

I came for action and suspense. I got it.

4 out of 5

Score= 31

That's a Brown Belt!

The Intimidation Factor

As stated before, I have earned a black belt in Shaolin Kempo. Does this mean that I can move through the night making less sound than a whisper of a breeze and take down small nations on the weekends?

Not really.

Well, maybe, but not that I'm telling you.

Okay, seriously, there are days when I wish I could line up with the white belts on the back row in the far corner so no one would watch me when I messed up a kicking combination for the third time. Then there are days when I feel like I could take the other black belts in a semi-friendly brawl. So what I'm saying is that just because I have a black belt does not mean that I can kick everyone I meets butts.

Meets butts? Is that right? Hmmm...moving on.

The other night in class we had a new guy—an exchange student from Italy. His English was pretty good (way better than my any other language) and he picked up on things quickly.

The stars must have aligned in my “favor” because I got to be the punch in dummy for Sensei. The technique we were working on consisted of a block then multiple strikes to the face and neck. There was an elbow involved, which always makes everything better. I got hit a bunch of times, then turned around the other way so the rest of class could see. Being the punch in dummy makes you look tough and may leave marks.

When Sensei put me with the new guy, the poor kid looked like he would rather go take a nap in the street. Sensei assured him that I had the best control in the class (which is pretty much true) and that I would not hurt him. The new guy still didn't look convinced, but did as Sensei said. Which is a wise course of action.

We practiced. The new guy did a good job. I got faster and faster and after eight or nine times he told me I was lethal. Best compliment I got all week. I may have gently whacked him with an elbow once in the jaw, but it was soft! I swear.

Anyway, when Sensei revealed that the final move was a hit to the groin, my Italian partner's eyes went wide, he stepped back, put up his hands and said, “I cannot.”

I'm still not sure if he didn't want to hit me or he didn't want me to hit him. Still, I think he lost a shade of color from his face. Sensei assured him that I would not be hitting him in the groin. Not even the leg. I would stay far, far away.

When we started practicing again I was sure the new guy was going to bolt. But he didn't. He stuck it out, and I did NOT hit him in the groin. Like I want to do that. Even thumping a cup is kind of disturbing. Sorry, maybe TMI there.

My point is that it feels strange to be the intimidator. I'm short, more round than slim and blonde. I go to Kempo for fun and to learn mean things that I hope never to have to use on anyone. It is so strange that anyone looks at me and thinks, “Oh crap, she can kick my trash.” Then again, it's kind of cool.

Right now in the writing world I am the white belt, looking at all of the published authors with wide eyes and slacked jaws, wondering if I'm even worthy to say hello.

I wonder if they feel about their being published like I do about being a black belt; awesome, horrible, conflicted and like I need to work harder.

Tuesdays at the Castle

By Jessica Day George

Tuesdays at Castle Glower are Princess Celie's favorite days. That's because on Tuesdays the castle adds a new room, a turret, or sometimes even an entire wing. No one ever knows what the castle will do next, and no one-other than Celie, that is-takes the time to map out the new additions. But when King and Queen Glower are ambushed and their fate is unknown, it's up to Celie, with her secret knowledge of the castle's never-ending twists and turns, to protect their home and save their kingdom.

Why did I read this book again?

A friend of mine got this book from the library. I read the flap and decided that I must read it!

5 out of 5

Characters

I really loved the main character, Princess Celie.  She’s full of fire and fun and is the only person who really understands this bizarre castle the royal family lives in.  Her brother and sister are equally likeable, and the cast of side characters carried the story all the way through to the end.

4 out of 5

Did I care what happened?

Yes.  The beautiful world painted in the novel, along with the fun cast of characters, kept me wondering who or what was going to pop up next, and how Celie would deal with it. 

4 out of 5

Plot Holes

No huge holes that I remember.  Some of the logic behind the castle was a bit off—like if it actually tossed one of the rulers it didn’t like physically out, then why keep all the caniving, horrible, traitorous people around through this one?  If you mention that the castle can do that, then it should.  Just my thought. 

4 out of 5

How many times did I yawn?

This is a really fast paced book.  I didn’t have time to yawn.  It’s Middle Grade, and authors write those for kids who get bored after six seconds of doing something that doesn’t instantly entertain them, so there was no yawning.

4 out of 5

Cool Factor

Pretty much a castle that grows new rooms, can alter the rooms it already has and randomly puts in secret passages is cool.  And a little princess who crawls around and tries to map it is most kid’s dream.  Maybe not the mapping, but the whole secret passage thing.  The existence of magic felt a little wishy-washy, because we didn’t get to see any of it in actual use.  Except the castle.

4 out of 5

The End

Even for a Middle Grade book, I felt like the climax of the fight/story went by way too fast.  Then again, I have a ten second attention span, so maybe I’m expecting way more than the kids can handle. The actual end of the story was great.

4 out of 5

Overall Enjoyment

Super cute, fun read, good times novel.  As a kid I would have eaten it up.  It has a few points quite reminiscent of Harry Potter (a crazy castle as well as an atlas/map and a special cloak), but it resonated instead of slapped me in the face.  Easy and fun.

4 out of 5

Score= 33

That's a Brown Belt!

Stairs, My Old Enemy

Stairs are evil creatures with nothing but malicious intent toward the human race.  Sure, they’re helpful, and often times needed, but in the end I feel that their goal is to torture us. Either one has to climb UP them or keep the grasping fingers of gravity at bay as you descend them—usually with something in both hands and a bag dangling off of one shoulder.  In my humble opinion, stairs and gravity are in this together, and they plan to leave no survivors.

However, since they are a necessary evil, we all learn to negotiate these horrid stairs starting at a young age.  It’s a wonder that we ever get past the crawling up and sliding down on our butt stage, but the need for enough speed to get away from our parents, siblings or the family lick-in-the-face dog is generally enough motivation to do so.

The toddler years aren’t kind.  The word toddle doesn’t inspire confidence of any sort, especially toward the concept of balance.  The thick diapers keep the back end from serious bruising, but the rather large head usually hits first, and I know many a parent who has enjoyed a trip to the emergency room due to the combination of stairs and gravity.

As we get older, the world looks for other ways to take us down: gym class at school, annoying people, ridiculous schedules, ice cream, members of the opposite sex, children, standing in lines, commercials, jeans that shrink in your closet…For a while, the stairs and gravity combo remain quiet.

And then you get really old. Somehow the stairs know, and gravity rejoices, and they renew their assault on you with more vigor than ever.  It’s not very nice.

I bet you’re wondering how this relates to writing.

Oh it does. Wait for it.

There is a rather large pile of skills that I need to work on, sitting right over there in my writer’s corner.  Things like grammar, the proper use of a semi-colon, making sure my characters have clothes on, getting rid of passive voice and a whole slew of others.  But one that always gets me is the romance line of a story. It is my stairs of writing.  I feel like the toddler trying to get up the stairs without going to my knees because I’m a big girl now, and then face-planting while everyone is looking.

Those romance lines kill me!  But I plan to attack them in each novel I write with vigor, and make sure that it doesn’t stop me from creating a great story.  Even if I do have to wear a helmet and ask my romance writing friends for help.  I can swallow my pride.  Really.

So what is your writing nemesis?